1. My last call went something like this:

Irate bitch: "My 13yr old son was in the front seat and while I was driving he tried to climb into the back seat and became tangled in the seatbelt. After my dumbass husband and I couldn't free him we had to cut him out. Why does the seatbelt get tighter and why is there no secondary release!!??"

Me: "Because the belts are actually designed to entrap the children of moronic parents and strangle them so as to eliminate your genes from the pool."

How hard is it to get untangled from a seatbelt? What the hell?