1. Some fucking Hummer customer was bitching at me because his leather seats are starting to wrinkle at 25,000 miles. He wants us to replace them. It's leather asshole. If you walked 25,000 miles in a leather coat do you think it would be in the same condition as when you started? Fucking people.

2. Everybody that I speak to in Las Vegas lately is from the east coast. It pisses me off - I don't want east coasters in the West, even if it is Vegas.

3. One of those east coast assholes in Vegas was complaining that he'd been waiting for someone to answer and he'd had to wait on hold. I had to place him on hold for 5 minutes and call the dealership and he gave me his cell phone number 'in case we get disconnected' but I could tell he was just going to hang up after a minute anyway. And the motherfucker did. Okay assholes, if you want to be helped, you've got to play along. Wait on hold - nobody's going to forget about you. Like I want you sitting on my line, tying up my phone? Fuck you impatient assholes.