1. This is a good one. Some New Jersey fucker calls in, says when he reconnects his battery the alarm goes off - wants to know why. He talked to two techs at a dealership and they gave him two different solutions. He wants to speak to a tech on the phone, which ain't happening since that's a legal liability. He's already yelling right off the bat and tells me he doesn't even think I can answer his question. I asked him to allow me to put him on hold for 3 minutes while I look up the information. He immediately flies off the handle, "I've been buying General Motors all my life and this is the treatment I get!?" And on and on. I told him it will ONLY be 3 minutes and if he would just be PATIENT I'll answer his question. I look it up, there's nothing that says that should be happening so therefore there's probably something wrong with it. I come back and tell him this and he flips. He demanded to speak to a tech and I told him he already spoke to two techs at the dealer. He reiterates that they gave him two different answers. I advised then that the logical thing to do would be to try both solutions and see which one works. He flips again (I was already pissed at this point and didn't give a shit about pissing him off more), and begins a tirade of telling me how much of an idiot I am and how I'm not an intelligent person, or have an ounce of intelligence in me, blah blah blah. After about 5 minutes of argument and insults he says again, "I knew you couldn't help me. I just knew you wouldn't have an answer for me." To which I replied, "Well sir, sounds to me like it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. Is there anything ELSE I can assist you with today?" After that he just grumbled until he hung up. Now it's kind of funny but 20 minutes ago I was fucking pissed. PS - if you run into Albert Firestein of Monroe Township, NJ, spit in his face. And if you're reading this Mr. Firestein, fuck. you.

2. Quality busted my ass on that call.

3. I just had a customer complain that the voice recognition commands weren't working for his OnStar unit. I hate that shit - is it really so hard to reach up to the rearview mirror and press the blue button? Lazy ass.