1. Some lady spent 17 f'ing minutes blabbing at me while I tried to answer my initial 10 yes or no questions. When I finally had all my info I asked her if it was okay if I put her on hold for 5-10 minutes while I research the concern. She got all huffy and whined about that being too long. Look bitch, if your time is so urgent then why did you just spend 17 minutes mindlessly blathering and not answering my questions when you're the one who called me?

2. There's a sign posted on the bathroom door that says, "Sorry, no hot water." What, am I going to take a bath in there? Who gives a shit?

3. I've often heard of east coast people complaining of, or seen in movies, those ivy-league trust fund assholes. You know - the type who always wear khakis, have sweaters tied around their necks, etc. I didn't really think they existed until I saw one on college Jeopardy playing for Princeton. I wanted to smash his face in immediately.