1. I had a Cadillac customer call me in hysterics that the outer rubber seal around her windshield had come loose while she was driving. The customer was convinced that she narrowly escaped death because the windshield could have come loose and smashed her in the face. Yeah, that's all that's keeping the windshield from flying into the cab is a small strip of rubber - I don't think so. It's not like it's resting on the frame or anything. She told me that she paid $48,000 for the car and that even when she was poor and driving $100 cars this never happened. Okay bitch, you have NEVER been poor. How do I know this? Because you were DRIVING. Last I checked, most of the third world doesn't drive. There are almost NO Americans that are poor, and the ones that are, are pieces of shit because there is no easier place on Earth in which somebody can live far above the rest of the planet. Nobody in America is just 'down on their luck' and becomes homeless. If that's the case then it's because you were a fool and not living within your means. You were spending more money than what you had. Maybe if you actually HAD been poor at some point you would have learned the value of money and to not spend what you don't have.

2. I got a nosebleed today and I was in the bathroom for 40 minutes waiting for it to clot.

3. I had a Cadillac customer complaining that last time his car was in the shop he got a rental vehicle that was a 1998 and it had 100,000 miles. You poor fucking baby. Fuck you asshole. There aren't enough vulgar obsenities to lambast an asshole like that.