1. It took the guy at the deli 20 f'ing minutes to make my sandwhich today. My lunch is 30 minutes and it takes 5 minutes just to get there. Absolute bullshit - I was the only customer he had. My sandwhich consisted of the following: sourdough, honey ham, cream cheese, lettuce, onion, mayo, and mustard. I could go from 0 to sandwhich in 5.29 seconds and that's if I had to cut the meat off the pig. 30 minute lunches are for children in sweatshops in SE Asia.

2. I had an asshole customer who wanted to know why I was supporting a decision made by a tech at a dealership. I told him in a very matter-of-fact way, "Well, I can't see what's wrong with the vehicle over the telephone." And he tells me, "There's no need to get snotty with me, I'm just trying to get my problem solved." Oh yeah douchebag? Well, there's no fucking reason to be a rude fucking asshole with me because I'm just doing my fucking JOB! Fucker.