1. I received a survey from a Cadillac customer. He included a 2 page letter to President and CEO G. Richard Wagoner Jr. detailing the harrowing experience he's had trying to resolve issues with AM static on his radio. So far this guy has a few strikes against him: 1) he's from New York 2) he's complaining about something trivial 3) he made it very clear that he has his PhD and is a psychologist with money 4) 2 and 3 combined. It was somewhat funny though because customers can NEVER escalate their concerns beyond our call center (which is a separate company from GM) and he sent this post script:

"P.S. To the middle level customer service representative who I am sure is reading this letter - I am BEGGING you to pass it on to Mr. Wagoner or a senior staff member who is concerned about the survival of GM. I believe I am your ideal demographic - a wealthy middle-aged professional who would like to buy several more Cadillacs before I die and who is currently shopping for a Corvette for his 21 year old son who is looking to work for GM some day as an Industrial Psychologist. Do you really want to lose me and my family base on sheer incompetence and neglect of customers?"

Fuck you dude. No one gives a shit that you're wealthy and blah blah blah. Also, he's a piece of shit because he's begging and pleading us for what, so he can buy more of our shit? That doesn't make sense. What's wrong with consumers now that this is their mentality - "Please, please let me buy your shit so I can achieve the social status associated with owning your shit." If this is how you think then your life has no meaning.

1. A customer sent me a random check made out to an independent repair shop with a note attached. The note reads exactly, "here is were I pay it have been pay to them got from Bank. Thank you" signed Douchebag McGee.

2. A company called DNA Lab Work LLC attempted to recruit me for some Lab Tech job. They wanted me to pay $129 to get certified then pay for some training after that. Fuck that. Fucking scammers. Nice try assholes. P.S. If you are in Indianapolis, punch Lawrence Reese in the sac.

1. GM started advertising with Sean Hannity on Fox News radio. Apparently he is a conservative, right-wing, opinionated Republican talk show host. A bunch of customers have been throwing shit-fits about this and sending us complaint emails. So much so that we've already created a canned email response template specifically for those complaints. I don't understand people complaining about this. First of all, they're upset because they disagree with his opinions and a product they like is being advertised on his show. Guess what people - GM is a CORPORATION - that means they're goal is to make money. They don't give a shit what his opinions are - if he has a big audience, they're going to advertise with him. Secondly, if you care enough to write us nasty letters about it, you're obviously MORE of an opinionated idiot than him. And thirdly, if you know that GM is advertising on his show, then apparently you were listening to the show, which increases his listener base, which is why GM started advertising with him in the first place! You are ALL, fucking idiots.

2. When a GM customer calls us, the phone prompts specifically tell the customer to have their VIN ready for us. We really can't do much without it. Besides that, if you're calling the manufacturer about a complex concern having to do with vehicle repairs and such, why wouldn't you have it handy anyway? So some douchebag calls me unprepared. I kept asking him for his VIN and he kept ignoring me and running his mouth. When I finally drove it into his head that in order for me to assist him he MUST find his VIN and to please get it for me, he says 'okay' and asks that I wait for him to find it. Fine. For three whole minutes (which is longer than you think) I sit listening to him shuffle papers and talk to himself and his buddies while he looks for it. It should NEVER take that long to find your VIN. Even if you have a big house and had to go out to your car to grab your registration out of the glove box, it still shouldn't take more than 30 seconds. So he comes back on the phone after three minutes and asks, "Okay, you ready?" ...Yeah...I'm ready, asshole. You're the one who called me. You're the one who took three fucking minutes to find an important piece of information you should have had ready in the first place, and you have the GALL to ask ME if I'M ready? Fuck, you.

3. Often times GM employees are looking to purchase a vehicle using their discount and need an authorization code from us. They call in but are misled by the phone prompts and wind up calling my department. I always have to transfer them to the correct department, but first I always tell them how to do it right the next time - dial the same number you just dialed, but press 1 when it picks up, and that will get you on your way. I told some old man this yesterday and he tells me, "Oh, I don't know, that sounds too confusing to me." Well then maybe you should just die.