1. What's with people misspelling the word 'woman' as 'women' lately? I'm seeing it everywhere. I even saw it in a news article on Google - "US army soldiers accused of raping a young Iraqi women..." You've got to be kidding me. It's not that hard to get it right people. Everytime I'm reading and that mistake interrupts the flow I just want to puke.

2. Two guys on my team thought it would be funny to sabotage Jeff's phone so that it didn't work. All they did was flip a hidden switch and loosen the connector. When Jeff tried to use it it didn't work at all. He and my manager tried to fix it and eventually switched phone sets - to no avail. He was super pissed and started yelling and throwing a tantrum like a little kid. Pissed me off because I'm right next to him and on the phone. This guy is about 6'4" and 300+ pounds - he's a big dude - and he was bitching like a whiny child. Why can't adults act like adults any more?

3. I called a customer and his wife answered. I said, "I'm looking for Kenneth X." She says, "Well, this is Sue X." as if to say, 'I can speak for him'. Yeah, I can hear that you're Sue, but I'm looking for Kenneth, bitch. Doesn't help me.

4. The big Kit Kat Crisp bars are too chocolatey.

5. I just had a customer complain to me that his tail light has had a reccuring short. He was pulled over because of it and got a DUI because he had been drinking and thinks GM is responsible.

6. A customer had a bad sales experience with his dealership and wrote a letter. Here's the letter in its entirety - the spelling and grammar errors have been preserved - but they are moderate compared with what I normally receive. The main point that pisses me off is at the end of the letter:

"I bought a 2006 Buick LaCross from DAVID Buick in Niagara Falls New York.

I was not happy with my transaction. It's almost a month, and I have never received any kind of call, asking me how I liked the car, or to say Thank You for buying a Buick.

I felt the way I was treated by the Sales Manager at the time, was uncalled for. After selecting the car, I came back a few days later to place a $500.00 down payment. I sat in the sales office for almost 30 min waiting for a receipt, when I finally got up and went to look for the salesman, I found him in the Sales Managers office, when I asked what was taking so long, the sales manager told the sales man, give him his money back, needless to say I was not happy about the way I was being treated.

The sales Manager informed me, that I had to go and talk with the finance person. When I asked why I had to do this, I was told it's policy. I was paying cash for the car!!! I did not understand why a visit to the finance man was necessary, and it turned out, I sat in his office for over 20 min, waiting to see him. I walked out, very upset.

I was also told by the sales man, that I had 100 min,. of call time on the phone feature, after reading my car book, and talking with on star, I was informed, I only had 30 min. of call time. Someone better know their features better.

To add insult to injury, when I received a post card telling me that my car registration was in, and that I would have to pay an additional cost of $20.00 I hit the roof. I understand that dealership does not know what the DMV will charge, but I felt, after paying almost $20 thousand dollars for my new car, the extra $20.00 cost could of and should have been absorbed by the dealership.

After talking with the vice president or who ever he was, he took me back to the department that handled the registration part and waved the cost.

I have always bought foreign cars, never American, and from the way I was treated, I don't think I'd by a American car again.

It's no wonder the American Car Market is in the trouble it is.

When I bought my last Toyota from West Herr, they not only called me a few days later to see how I like the car, they sent me a Chocolate Cookie Gram on top of it.

What did I get from David????? Heart ace and nothing.

Sincerely Yours,
Douchebag McGee"

Okay - we're not your real dad trying to compete for your love with your step-dad. You're an adult and this is business - we shouldn't have to coddle you. I asked him what the dealer did about his concern and he tells me, "I stood in their showroom complaining outloud and they did nothing!" Gee, I can't imagine why they didn't help you when you were acting like a child. Fuck this guy.

1. I was watching a show last night where a group of scientists built a submersible that looks like a great white shark so they could swim with the real thing. They had a near disaster when the guy inside the thing swam too deep and too far away and lost radio contact. The sub sank to the bottom and they had to rescue him, but had trouble because they had no way to communicate with him. They were freaking out and couldn't figure out why they lost radio contact so quickly. Idiots - they're attempting to communicate via radio. Radio waves are at the infra-red end of the spectrum. Water absorbs red light to a maximum depth of about 35 feet - if you're lucky. So even if the sub is only 10 feet down, if it's 50 feet out from the boat then the radio waves have to travel diagonally through about 51 feet of water - ie they're going to lose the ability to communicate. Haven't these people ever seen the movies where a submarine has to surface to communicate with the fleet? I thought these people were scientists. Anyone who's taken basic high school science should have been able to figure that out.

1. 'Acrossed' is not a word. Don't use it. The woman who sits ACROSS from me said it today. Prepositions cannot have a past-tense. It makes just as little sense to say 'underneathed' or 'behinded'. And don't complain about language not being static. In an age of technology and standardizations, basic language operations have to be set and agreed upon - especially something that basic.

2. When I create a file for a customer the computer assigns a number to it. The format is always like this: 1-418259342. I was giving a customer their file number today and I said, "It's one, dash,..." and the customer misunderstood and asked, "One, bench?" Yes, one bench. Moron.

1. I'm hungry - I ate a Butterfinger and some almonds but I'm still starving.

2. I'm getting a lot of shitty customers today.

3. A customer bought her vehicle and never received her title. I asked what dealership she bought it at and she didn't know. I asked what city it was in, she didn't know. She said, "It's in New Jersey." Oh, thanks - that only narrows it down to about 200. Don't worry if you put down $40k + on a vehicle, it's not important to remember anything about the purchase.

4. Since I work at a call center everything we do is tracked by our phones. Everything has an "AUX state" to determine how we're being paid and for what. We have different auxes for things like break, lunch, training, quality coaching, meetings, etc. Technically we're supposed to aux into break (which isn't paid) if we're away from our desk; this includes going to the bathroom. I don't aux to piss because I think it's bullshit - every other company in the world pays their employees to piss, why not mine? I was walking to the bathroom and my dickhead TM asks, "Did you aux?" I played stupid and said, "For what?" And he reminded me of the bullshit policy. How can a company hire human beings and not expect to pay them for the minute and a half it takes to piss? My desk is right by the bathrooms, I waste 10 times that amount of time every day chatting with coworkers about mindless garbage, you can't pay me to take a leak? Asinine. From now on I'll aux into meeting.

5. The other half of #4 was that if we aren't available to take calls after 30 minutes then a group of time management cops called 'resource' calls on us and our managers give us shit. My manager also informed me as I walked to the bathroom that resource is calling on me. Fucking liar. I happen to know for a fact that I got off of an inbound call 11 minutes ago. No way do they call after 11 fucking minutes. Asshole.

1. I just had 4 days off to go hiking and now I'm back at work and it sucks.

2. My legs are sunburned and I have to wear pants at work.

3. Just as I was typing #2 I overheard a coworker say, "What's a kilobyte?... There's no such thing as kiloBYTE, there's only a kiloGRAM. What is this, England?!" How stupid are you? First of all, kilo means 'a group of one thousand' - it applies to anything, not just metric measurements. I could have one thousand gallons and it would technically be a 'kilogallon'. Secondly, England traditionally doesn't use the metric system any more than the US. Hence their money is in 'pounds'. Thirdly, the US officially adopted the metric system in 1866, but since Americans are stupid and they oppose anything viewed as 'foreign', the average person hasn't readily accepted it, but it is used for anything official in the US. Look it up, a foot is measured officially as 0.3048 meter. Fuckin' idiot.

4. I had a customer bitching about a sales tax concern with his truck. He said, "Everybody pays sales tax!" Um, no. Actually 5 states don't pay sales tax: Montana, Alaska, Delaware, New Hampshire, and my home - Oregon. And probably Oregon is the only one where you truly don't pay sales tax because the others have municipally imposed sales taxes for certain items and services in most areas.

5. I had a customer asking to repurchase his truck. He works in his local school district and he used the comparison of a child not getting along with his teacher. He said that if the two can't get along then you put the child into a different class or a different school. That's a stupid idea. How about this: it's a school and he's the kid so he should be learning something about how to put up with people. School isn't just to teach academics, it's to teach people how to be responsible citizens as well. If everytime a kid whines and complains about something and they get their way, they will learn to expect that and act the same as an adult. Kids should be forced to 'suffer' in uncomfortable situations. How else are they supposed to learn anything? Stop coddling your children.

6. It's too hot to go outside.

7. I'm fed up with this - whenever I give a customer the address to a GM division, the zip code is 48232. Only ONCE... EVER... have I had a customer get it right the first time. It's possible at first that I wasn't speaking clearly enough, or sometimes it's a poor connection, but not any more. It's happened so often there's no fucking way I'm not clear enough now. I say it very loud, clear, and slow, and they still don't get it right. 75% of the time they repeat it back to me as 48...323? Can't you fuckin' people listen? 24% of the time they say either 48223 or 48332 - both wrong. 0.99% of the time people say something else stupid and 0.01% of the time they get it right with a margin of error of 0.01%, so basically nobody gets it correct. They use the same numbers, just not the right combination which makes no sense. If it's the same numbers then it's no more difficult or easy to get it right than it is to fuck it up. So this just means that people don't listen. Surprised?

1. I don't care, I just don't care.

2. I hate when you work with someone you can't stand, but you maintain a professional relationship. Then you walk past them or stand next to them at the urinal or whatever, and it's just that odd brief exchange of false pleasantries when deep down you really hate each other. Why can't I just walk by and ignore you? Why is that so rude? You hate me anyway, so why expect me to pretend like I care?

3. I hate after I eat almonds little bits of them get stuck in my throat without warning while I'm talking. I drank a bunch of water, shouldn't all the nutty debris be washed down my throat?

4. I had to listen to some chatty bitch for 20 minutes. Get a clue lady, how many times and ways do I have to tell you that your frustrations are misdirected? Take your car to another dealer. No, I don't give a shit that the other dealer is in an unsafe area and the third one won't give you a ride home. That's your problem. Shut the hell up - I am not a part of your sewing circle so stop complaining at me in that nagging, gossipy tone. I'd hate to be her husband because it's obvious that she's a naggy bitch.

5. The facility I work in is managed by IBM. The internet connection here is shitty at best. It only works about 1 out every 5 times you click on something. This is bullshit.

1. I had casserole leftovers in some tupperware all weekend and all the oil in it filtered down to the bottom of the container and I didn't notice until I got to work. Now my lunch is going to be all oily and disgusting.

2. Northface shoes (or any apparel for that matter) are over-priced and worthless. Don't buy them.

3. People always expect GM to have all the information in the world about their repairs, purchase history, maintenance history, etc. Most people don't realize that the information most big corporations have on you is limited only to what you've allowed them to know. Some lady today thought that because she registered her used truck with the DMV that meant that GM had all the information as well. We aren't the government lady, we don't know that you bought your 96 Blazer 5 years ago from JimBob down the street.

4. I bought a new mouthpiece for my water bottle and it has that gross musty rubber taste to it.

5. There are way too many control-freaks where I work. And they're all cranky, nosey bitches too - that are in positions of authority.

6. I hate this fucking job. I hate this fucking place. I hate every fucking customer that calls me - especially Ken Eledge that fucking asshole. Quit bitching at me like I'm the cause of your problems. If anyone ever treats someone in a customer service position like they're worthless and I'm standing there to witness it, I will beat their ass into the ground. Be ye warned.

7. Some guy spent 21 minutes complaining to me about the design for the new Camaro concept. He was infuriated that it looked nothing like the original. The whole time he's telling me this like somebody owes him something. He kept talking about how this is America and GM's disgracing us and themselves. Why do people have to hold on to such worthless things for the sake of tradition? Who gives a shit? Are you so insecure that you're threatened by that? What's wrong with a little change? It's like flag burning - who cares? Just because there's a special place in your heart for the flag doesn't mean that somebody burning it has anything to do with you. Who cares? Not me. I'm not threatened by it. Anyone is free to make their own choices in America, so why get upset when they make a choice you don't like? Supposedly that's what you think is so great about this country anyway. Start making more sense people, please.

1. I think my manager was looking at my computer. When I came back from break my chair was tucked into my desk (which I didn't do), and my computer hadn't timed out and locked itself which it does after 10 minutes, but I had been gone for 15. I think he was checking my internet history to see if I've been browsing. I'm going to lock it out when I get up from now on.

2. I had a customer call in who purchased a 2007 Tahoe. A month later he received in the mail a $1500 incentive coupon for new GM vehicles, including 07 Tahoes. He tried to get the dealer to apply it retroactively, but it was rejected. So he calls me to bitch. I call the dealer and they tell me the reason it was rejected was because the incentive was issued May 1st, and only applies to vehicles purchased after May 1st. Too bad the douchebag took delivery of the vehicle on April 19th. Sorry, can't bend the rules. I kept telling him this and this New Jersey fucker kept demanding that I transfer him to somebody that makes the rules, so they can change them for him. Yeah, fuck you dude - GM is the largest corporation on the planet, let me transfer you to Bob, he makes all the rules. This guy was retired and he said he's going to make his new career spending his golden years sueing GM. I told him good luck, but in my opinion he'll get nowhere because the rules are clearly stated and he's attempting to violate them. He told me I'm a lackey with no authority and then said, "See ya, sonny!" Go to bed old man.

3. I saw a news headline that said, "Inhaling Helium: Dangerous?"

4. At Convergys, if you miss a day unexcused you accrue an 'occurance'. If you get 10 occurances in a year, potentially they can fire you. You can miss 25% of your shift and not get an occurance, so for most people with 8 hour work days, this means you can miss 2 hours of your work shift. My manager left over 3 hours early today just because it's Friday and he can do it without getting an occurance. That fucker.

1. I had another customer use the word "boughten" today.

2. When my manager moved me, he put me right next to Jeff the genius.

3. Some fucking asshole just called me saying that someone from this number called him and hung up. I asked for his phone number so I could look it up in our database and find out who and why. He refused to give me his phone number. I assured him that no one would be contacting him any more if he didn't want them to. So he gave me his area code - 210, and said that should be enough. I told him there are probably several million people in that area code and he could be any one of them. He kept getting more pissed and I told him there's nothing I can do if he won't provide his name or phone number. He said he gave his area code and that should be enough. I told him my database contains tens of millions of names and that I cannot look up his information without his name and/or phone number. He asked to speak to my boss, I said no, blah blah blah... he eventually hung up. What a fucking moron.
Him: "Don't ever fucking call me again!"
Me: "Who are you?"
Him: "I ain't tellin' you that shit!"
My Attitude: Fuck you then asshole.

4. 210 is a Texas area code. I hate Texas.

5. My manager came over and told me to take a call and quit surfing the internet. Motherfucker. I wasn't surfing the internet and I showed him that. Yes, I do surf at work, I'm typing this on the clock right now, but 9 times out of 10 when I walk up to his desk he's on the internet too. The other day D caught him with bare tits on the screen. Fuck you Will. I'm not the one looking at boobies.

6. Jeff the genius said, "Nobody knows how a woman operates." I'm sick of this stereotype. If anything, women are far easier to figure out than men, but overall, I think humans are simple. They pretty much all operate the same way - we must - we're human, so therefore there ARE criteria that define us. It just takes a little focus and some attention to detail and body language and you'll figure out women in a second. They are not complicated - you're just stupid.

7. Jeff the genius tried to tell us that the reason KFC is no longer 'Kentucky Fried Chicken' is because their meat isn't technically chicken and it's false advertising. He said that they actually grow cloned mutant chicken meat with 6 legs and no head that's kept on life support and that's why you don't find any veins. He says, "I defy you to find a vein in their chicken." First of all, bullshit. Secondly, even so, the meat would still have veins because it needs to grow and in order to do so it needs to transport blood, oxygen, and other nutrients to the tissues and carry toxins away. Thirdly, we do not really have the technology to create such a thing, and even if we did, people would be outraged. Fourthly, bullshit. And fifthly, 5 seconds of research revealed that actually the Commonwealth of Kentucky decided to copyright the name 'Kentucky' a while back and charge royalties to anyone who uses it. After a year of court battles KFC lost and changed their name in 1991. Idiot.

1. It's "VIN" not "VIN number". Just like PIN or ATM - not "PIN number" or "ATM Machine". People are so fuckin' stupid. It's a Vehicle Identification Number, so saying "VIN number" is like saying Vehicle Identification Number-Number. It's redundant. When I ask for a VIN people always correct me with, "You mean the VIN number?" No asshole, I said VIN and I meant VIN because I'm not a moron.

2. People call me all day long asking for GM to pay to fix their vehicle. I ask them, "Have you had the concern diagnosed by a dealer?" Answer is always no. Oh, okay Mr. Customer Q. Liarface, here's some fucking money. Whatever. You really expect the company to just GIVE you money when nobody has even seen the vehicle, let alone figured out what's wrong with it - ie how much it would cost to fix it? If car manufacturers could give money without a diagnosis, I would just call Ferrari and say, "I have a new Enzo that needs a new engine and I bought it yesterday. Give me the money for it." Agent: "Alrighty!" No, that's stupid. Better yet, why don't I just call up my doctor, "I have the worst cold ever, prescribe 100 boxes of ephedrine-based cold medicine for me." Then I'd go cook up some meth and sell it to school kids. Too bad there's that law that requires me to be checked out by an actual doctor because we all know that people lie and misuse the system.

3. People always want me to cover their car repairs because it's a "common concern" outside of warranty. That's stupid, let's analyze: beyond the new vehicle warranty, parts will eventually fail at some point on any vehicle. Since most all vehicles are constructed of the same basic parts and systems, it should be common across the industry. We all know we can't reasonably expect, at 200,000 miles, a part like the steering wheel to fall off or the trunk hinges to fail - those are parts that probably require more wear and tear than is required for the entire vehicle to last. But we could expect something like a water pump to fail in that time because it takes less wear and tear to make it fail. That means then, by default, you will see more water pump failures out there - ie it will be more COMMON. So does that mean that it's the manufacturer's fault that the water pump failed at 80,000 miles? No, because we all know that a water pump is not expected to last until 200,000 miles. I'm not saying there aren't ones that do, but we're all surprised when they do. If you'd be surprised it lasted so long, then that must mean that you expect it to fail sooner, which is probably based on the fact that in reality it does fail sooner which is another way of saying 'commonly'.

4. My office is structured with dozens of rows of desks, with each row a "team" with their own manager. Currently I sit quite aways from my dickhead manager and am quite satisfied with where I sit because of it. He just came up to me and told me no ifs, ands, or buts, I have to move closer to him on his row. He claims he just wants everyone on the same row. I thinks it's bullshit and he just doesn't trust me and wants to keep a closer eye on me. Yesterday he told my neighbor that she has to move and she said she likes where she's at so he let her stay. Now he tells me she has to move too, but there's nowhere on his row for her to go. This is bullshit - it's just his desire to control people. Fuck that, I'll be a thorn in everyone's side that gets a rise out of controlling people.

5. George Carlin pisses me off. Maybe he was kind of funny in the 70s and 80s, but no more. You are not funny George Carlin - your act no longer consists of actual humor, all you're doing is regurgitating things everyone has heard but all at once and with somewhat of a poetic metre to it. But it is NOT comedy - it's dull. His old material stradled the line between comedy and stupid as well. Even as a much younger man his comdey wasn't far from being either observations of a 9 year old, or corny ramblings of an 85 year old. George Carlin just plain isn't funny.

6. Anne Coulter is a cocky bitch. I don't care about her politics or the recent controversy over the comments she made - she's just plain conceited. She's probably just compensating for her small penis.

1. Some asshole in a huge-ass truck talking on his cell phone wouldn't let me merge onto the freeway this morning. He kept speeding up to block me and almost ran me off the road. I had to slam on my brakes to merge and once I got around him into the left lane he didn't even have the decency to look at me while I scowled at him.

2. Why is it that as soon as someone is over 80 they have to tell everyone? It doesn't matter what the conversation is about or how relevant their age, they always have to tell you. You never hear, "Well, I'm 79 years old..." It's always once they're over 80. "Well, I'm 84 years old and I don't think things should be that way..." So you don't agree with something, what does being 84 years old have to do with it? Crazy old people should be put on icebergs and pushed out to sea.

3. I had to speak with a customer from Bronxville, New York today (who consequently told me he was 90 years old). I hate New Yorkers. I hate that accent. Unfortunately 75% of my customers call from the Northeast.

4. Anything that's case sensitive is retarded. Search engines, passwords, whatever - it's absolutely pointless bullshit.

5. My manager pulled me aside today to talk about my PTO request for next week. He's all pissed because I got the ops manager involved and he thinks I was complaining about him. He told me today that my getting the days off are up to his discretion and that there was no need to involve any other managers. Well guess what asshole, you told me you COULDN'T do anything about it because it was denied. You didn't tell me that it was actually your decision to make. Then he has the nerve to ask why I need the days off. I asked why he needs to know and he says, "How am I supposed to know whether or not to approve the time off?" I shot right back at him that it's none of the company's business what I do with my time. So he approved it anyway but acted all like he was doing me a favor. Yeah, fuck you Will, the only reason you did it is because you knew that if you denied me now I would call you on the fact that you denied me because you didn't know what I was doing with my personal time. Do you ask me how I'm going to spend my paycheck before you give it to me? I earned my paid time off and it's none of the company's damn business how I spend it so fuck off dick.

6. The White Stripes. Or The Raconteurs. Whatever. I'm tired of all these pansy-ass eco-boomer generation teen angst bands. Look at those faggots. They all either look like emo eunuchs or like they wish they were on "The OC". Yellowcard. Any of those bands. They're not real men - they all look like whiny 13 year-old boys that just want so badly to fit in because their dad never gave them enough attention when they were visiting every other weekend. But I guess that's why they're so popular with a generation that was raised mostly by TV. Get a life. Learn to be a real man.

1. Traffic was a bitch this morning.

2. Convergys counts tardies - like in grade school. I am an adult, this is bullshit. If we get 5 tardies we get "written up" - oooh, I'm scared. I was seven minutes late, holy shit!! I'm going to bring down the whole corporation with my occasional modest disregard for punctuality!! Fuck this job.

3. My industry (customer service) is driven by customer satisfaction scores. When a customer calls in we document their shit, answer their questions/assist them, and send them on their merry way. Then, an independent company known as Ipsos calls customers back at random every week and has them rate their experience with us. It's complete bullshit. The company expects us to get good Ipsos scores because it's how GM is rated in the industry, but they don't take into account the fact that people are irrational and we can't really control what they think. But what really pisses me off is employees always complain that we're forced to get all the customers info and document the simplest shit.

Customer: "Do Oldsmobile dealerships exist anymore?"
Me: "Can I get your name, phone number, address, VIN, credit card, first born and soul... then I'll tell you."
Customer (10 minutes later): "This is bullshit." *CLICK*
Me: "Yeah."

I've always been told that if I document simple shit then that means it raises my chances of getting good Ipsos scores because the customers are easily satisfied - and that's true. However, I realized today that the main reason we're forced to do this isn't for my personal performance scores, it's because on the whole it ups the chances that the business (ie GM) is going to get an overall good score in customer satisfaction. But that's not an actual representation of how well we assist customers who actually need assistance with vehicle repairs. It's bullshit - GM's just trying to puff up their image. I hate the corporate world.

4. I found the front page of the newspaper, but I couldn't find the contents. I had the first and last pages of section A - I just wanted the rest of the section. Who pulls entire sections of the newspaper apart anyway?

5. I hate Corvette owners. They're dickheads. MAJOR dickheads. If you know a Corvette owner do us all a favor and pull the stick out of their ass and beat them with it. Then hire an inmate to rape them, give their job to an illegal immigrant, and finally leave an oh-so-slight scratch on the vehicle itself. If you ARE a Corvette owner, kill yourself.

6. I went to lunch and bought food but I wasn't actually hungry. I knew I would be later though, so I forced myself to eat two chalupas.

7. I had a customer complaining that she had to wait at the dealership all day for them to fix her car. She said, "I had to wait there all day... with TWO kids! Do you know what it's like to sit there all day and have to watch two kids? etc etc". If they're such a horrible burden why did you have them in the first place? And especially if they weren't planned you have no right to bitch to anybody about anything. Newsflash: having kids is your own damn fault.

1. I spoke with a customer today who just wanted to know where he could find the serial number on his engine. I told him it's on the rear right-hand side of the engine. I had to repeat that to him 5. fucking. times. After the second time he says, "Hold on, let me write this down." Okay asshole, I'll give you writing it down, but then I shouldn't have to repeat it 3 more fucking times! People DO NOT listen any more. How hard could it really be to remember shit that simple anyway? I've only ever been told once - I didn't need to write it down.

2. I hate when people use the word, "boughten" as in, "Well, I wouldn't have boughten the thing if bitch bitch bitch...". I'll refer you to my previous post about stupid people needing to overcomplicate things.

3. I'm so pissed I'm not afraid to say it: I work for a company called Convergys. Convergys is the most evil, soul-less corporation on the planet. They're dicking over a bunch of employees for holiday pay for Memorial Day; my girlfriend's one of them. The client contract was bought out and we switched to Convergys on New Year's of this year, but they're trying to say some people haven't been here for six months so they're not getting the benefits they've been paying for since January 1st. Fucking assholes - nobody's been here for six months. Then HR threatened to take all my girlfriend's PTO over the pay dispute. This is comlete bullshit. Convergys is bullshit - never work for them.

4. Big dudes that are in their mid-twenties or older that walk around with giant headphones and their CD player like it's still cool. Especially when they prop the headphones up on their temples. Owning a personal music device as a status symbol ended in the mid-nineties - get over it.

5. I had a customer complaining that he didn't receive a promotional offer on a new vehicle. The selection is random and he was eliminated from the manifest because he had purchased a vehicle in the last 6 months. He wanted us to extend the offer to him even though it was closed. He kept making a big deal about how much money he has and said, "You're willing to lose a sale when I can afford to buy a new vehicle every year?". Okay asshole, if you have so much fucking money why are you making such a big deal about a damn coupon? Fucking moron.

6. I regret eating what I bought for lunch (which was again at 2:30).

7. I had a Buick customer tell me that I need to call the dealer and tell them about his problems and have them call HIM to schedule an appointment to bring his vehicle in. So when you're sick do you call your pharmacist to call your doctor to tell him to call you back to schedule a doctor's appointment? No, because that's fucking stupid. This prick has no sense of responsibility.

1. Blogger has been slow as shit all day and I haven't been able to update.

2. I had a dispute about my paid time off (PTO) at work today. They always tell us that PTO requests have to be put in 3 weeks beforehand. Fine, I understand. I had done that for the Friday before Memorial Day. Come to find out I'm not getting paid for that on my next paycheck. Why? Because oh, we never told you, it's actually 3 weeks prior to the Monday prior to the day(s) requested. Fuck you assholes, I can check it in the system and it's denied because of a "3 week lock", not a 4 week lock, fuckers. Also fucks up the fact that I requested the 22nd and 23rd off on the 31st of May. Whatever, okay, so I didn't know about the Monday rule - I accept that now. So I talk to my manager to see if we can get it fixed and he doesn't give a rat's dick about doing anything for me. He says he can't even exception the days I requested off 2 weeks from now. Bullshit. A little chat with HR and the ops manager seemed to changed his mind. All he had to do was fill out two pieces of paper and submit them and I'll get the money that I fuckin' earned. And now he's all pissed at me in general. Asshole.

3. My lunch is still scheduled for 2:30.

1. I overheard a woman at work today begin an anecdote with the phrase, "You know, they did some sort of study where...". Oh yeah? They did? People seem to think you can insert whatever they want after that phrase and it will be legit. I say legitimate bullshit - I know how much people F-up numbers in their head, I don't trust it. But you know, they did some sort of study where I'm always right AND my balls are huge. It's true.

2. I've been dealing with a horrible customer who likes to abuse me a lot on the phone. I just found out today that he's not even the owner of the vehicle - his girlfriend is. Thanks a lot asshole.

3. It was some chick's birthday at work and some guy did a really gay cheerleader cheer for her with pom-poms and all. Really gay.

4. Jeff, the great mind with whom I work, was talking about the movie "Snakes On A Plane". He thought that there was some symbolism in the story. His comment was, "...there's probably some symbolisism to the movie, who knows? I mean, what would be the symbology with a name like that?" Fuckin' dumb. Later he also misused the word 'transpose'. The trademark of a stupid person who thinks they are intelligent is that they consistently over-complicate "big words"; they also put them in redundant context. Example: "Well, that would be his peragatory intent." Here the dumbass over-complicates the word 'perogative' thinking they will sound smarter by adding a useless suffix. The meaning of 'perogative' can be loosely associated with the meaning of 'intent', despite the fact they are not the same, a similar concept is conveyed. Therefore bright-guy becomes superfluously repetative in an attempt to overcomplicate the communication. The reason stupid people do this is because when an actual intelligent person communicates with them using "big words" they feel confused and what they are hearing is complicated. Then the stupid person feels that in order to sound smart they too have to communicate in a cryptic and jumbled manner. When in actuality "big words" are meant to simplify communication by being more precise in their definition and anyone with half a brain realizes this.

1. The phrase "new and improved". What the hell? That doesn't make any sense.

2. Neither does 110%. You can't give 110%. 100% is 100% - I'd be damn well satsified with 100% and so should you.

3. A coworker used the phrase "great minds think alike" today. No they don't. I'm sick of these shit-sayings. What defines a mind as great is the fact that it's unlike all other minds. If great minds truly thought alike, then they wouldn't be great, they would just be above average. Einstein was a great mind. Da Vinci and Newton were great minds. Jeff at work is not a great mind - especially when he ended it with, "right dawg?". Great minds do not think alike.

4. My lunch is scheduled for 2:30 today.

5. I had a customer today who had a sales concern with a dealership. The way the automotive industry is structured is just like any other retail industry. A company makes a product, and a retail store sells it to the public. So if you purchase a Sony TV at Best Buy and you think they ripped you off, you would go to Best Buy and complain right? You wouldn't call Sony because that would be ridiculous. Well, some customers call GM when they think a dealer (who's an independent retail store) ripped them off. This customer did just that. I told him sorry, you need to take it up with the dealer. To which he replied, "Well I guess I'll just have to write a letter to the CEO and complain about what poor customer service I'm getting." Let's get this straight: because of the way the industry is structured I've followed company policy by directing you to the dealership. Company policy is approved by and the responsibility of the CEO. So basically you're going to write to the CEO to tell him that I'm following the policies which he endorses (ie you're going to inform him that I'm doing my job correctly). People make no sense. Besides that, you really think you're going to write a letter to the CEO of a corporation that's worth more than Canada?